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Curing the Stale Relationship ...by Stan Hyman, PhD, LCSW
Top 10 Tips for relighting the fire
Decide you want to change things up. Make a conscious decision that you want to improve your relationship by stepping up your game.
Commit to a course of action that will have the desired effect of making your relationship more fun and interesting. Changing things will require that you, and your partner, make an effort...don't be lazy!
Turn up your communication Everything starts with a conversation. Talk about the things you would like to improve upon. Engage each other with conversation that will stimulate new ideas.
Say nice things to each other. Keep your conversation and general interactions positive and upbeat, especially when you want to make changes. There should be no blaming or finger pointing as to why things have become stale or boring. The objective is to work together.
Take some resposibility. You may not have been paying much attention to the state of the relationship and let things decline. Own up to your share of the responsibility by letting your partner know that you recognize this and want to do something about it.
Care about the way you look and feel. Many couples get a bit lazy in the way they present themselves to each other. They may not take as much pride in their appearance as they once did when they were courting. In the spirit of reinvigorating a stale relationship, getting yourself in shape and looking good can be an important component.
Learn to celebrate more often.Use the opportunity of any special event to celebrate with a greater degree of adventure and a spirit of excitement. Celebrating should be done in the spirit of having an uninhibited, within reason, good time.
Surpise each other.Don't be so predictable when it comes to spicing up your relationship. Whether it is a gift, a night out or even a weekend away, be more spontaneous! Predictability and incessant familiarity are not often turn-ons.
Promote more intimacy.This can mean making more time for just the two of you to go places and do things together to spending more time in the bedroom. The idea here is to rekindle some of those feelings of closeness you both shared before life got more complicated.
Enhance your sex life.It is not just about having more sex (with each other of course) but enjoying the physical connection you create between you. Almost all couples, after being together for a while, get into a routine of doing things the same way.